Convince Parents For Love Marriage
Dil Ki Baat – When you are in love but don’t get approval
Sometimes the heart gets so attached to someone that without marriage it feels incomplete. But then they stand in front like a wall…the anger of parents. If you are also going through the same phase, then this article is your voice. Here we will talk about that passion, that test, which is needed to take a true relationship to its destination. Convince Parents For Love Marriage.
Understand the importance of parents, just with love
First of all understand that parents only want your well being. They have fear in their mind – what will the society say, what will the relatives think, and the biggest fear – that you may get hurt. They don’t feel bad that you loved someone, they are afraid that that person may not turn out to be worthy of you.
So what can you do?
Understand their fear
Reassure them lovingly
Do not hurt their dignity
Say to them – “Ammi, Abbu, the girl/boy I have chosen has all the qualities that you have taught me. I have chosen a person just the way you say. I just want this relationship to be successful with your blessings.”
Place of love marriage in Islam – what is right?
Many people think that love marriage is haram in Islam. But the reality is – Islam only prohibits adultery, but if two people like each other before marriage and want to get married, then there is nothing haram in it.
Proof from Hadith:
Hazrat Khadija (Razi) herself sent the message of Nikaah to Hazrat Muhammad (ﷺ). So when the first wife of Islam can marry of her own choice, why can’t you?
The only condition is that everything should be within the limits of Sharia.
Their choice and your choice – build a bridge
Parents often say, “Do what we say.” But what can you do? You can become that bridge, which is built between their thinking and your desire.
Tell them that you also want them to be happy
Also tell them that you have taken a decision after thinking carefully
Tell them about the qualities of the girl/boy – nature, education, offering prayers, family
If possible, introduce them once. Often the heart of the parents melts after seeing the face and talking.
Pray – bow before Allah
When any relationship is asked from Allah, it does not go waste. Wake up every day in Tahajjud, pray from your heart. Allah Ta’ala hears everything.
Some effective prayers:
“Rabbi hab li min ladунк zaujatan salehtan…” – O Lord, bless me with a good wife.
“O Allah, fill my parents’ hearts with love for me.”
If you feel like crying while praying, cry. The one who is above answers every tear.
Keep the relationship according to the Shariat
Love, but within Islamic limits. This will be the biggest proof that you are right.
Stop meeting secretly
Do everything honestly
Keep the intention of marriage firm
When your parents will see that you are following the Shariat, then they will also feel that this relationship is not just love, but a good purpose.
Emotional appeal – speak straight from the heart
Convincing parents is done from the heart, not the mind. Make them feel how much this relationship means to you. Open yourself up to them.
Some things you can say:
“Ammi, if you are not there, then what is the meaning of Nikaah? I live for your happiness.”
“Abba, I only want Nikaah, I don’t want to commit a sin.”
When there is truth in your eyes, pain in your tongue, then their stubbornness will also melt slowly. They will feel that this is not just ‘stubbornness’, but your need.
Fear of relatives – how to face it
The biggest fear in the mind of parents is – “What will people say?”
You have to make them understand that people may say anything, but if the decision is right, then its result will be good.
What to say?
“Abbu, when you took decisions about my school and job yourself, even then people said a lot of things, but you did what was right.”
“Today if I go on a wrong path, the same people will say – look, my parents did not pay attention.”
You should assure them that you are not getting married to just one person, but to a good family, a better life.
Explain one by one – not in a crowd
Telling everyone at once or arguing is not a solution. The best way is – talking to one by one.
First convince Ammi, because her heart melts easily
Then Abbu, when Ammi supports, Abbu will also believe
Then involve your brothers and sisters
Gradually everyone will unite, and then those who were your biggest opponents can become your biggest supporters.
Preparation for Nikah in religious manner
When the parents agree, the next step is – preparation for Nikah in Islamic manner. This will give them more confidence that you have not chosen any wrong path.
Steps of Nikah:
Ijab and Qubool – Consent of the girl and boy
Presence of witnesses – at least two men or one man-two women
Determining Mehr – Right given to the girl
Nikah Khutba – Read by Imam Sahab
By telling these steps, assure the parents that you are doing everything according to Islam.
Give time – Not everything happens immediately
It is possible that the parents may not agree at first. But this does not mean that they will never agree. Give them time, give them a chance to think.
Don’t argue every day
Leave them alone for a few days to think
Behave well in front of them, go to prayer, do household chores – so that they can see how much you have changed
All these small steps can make a big impact in their hearts.
Take help from an Islamic scholar
Sometimes you cannot talk to your parents alone. Then you need someone whom they respect – like the Maulana sahab of the mosque, a religious leader, or an elder in the family who has Islamic knowledge.
Why is it beneficial?
They explain the matter from a religious point of view
After listening to them, the parents will feel that this is not a trivial matter
If the scholar says that Nikaah is right, then the courage of the parents also increases
Take the parents along, sit and talk to them once. Sometimes a right voice has more impact than hundreds of words.
Prepare the girl/boy too
If you want to have a love marriage, then it is not just you alone, your partner should also be equally prepared.
Teach him/her:
How to behave with parents
How to present Islamic principles
How to be honest and respectful in your speech
When both of you speak and behave alike, then parents will feel that this relationship is really strong and noble.
What if parents don’t agree at all…?
If parents don’t agree even after all efforts, then it is heart breaking. But in Islam there is a solution for such situations.
Does Islam allow it?
Yes, if both are adults, both agree, and there is no haram thing in the relationship, then Nikaah can happen. But remember, this option should be the last choice.
You still have to:
Pray to Allah
Never disobey your parents
And try to win their hearts all the time
Maintain the relationship even after marriage
If you get married and your parents are upset, never abandon them. Visit them often, pray, include them in your life.
Some ways:
Send gifts on Eid
Take care of their health
Keep asking them for forgiveness, even if they have not said anything
With time their hearts will melt. And remember, the power of parents’ prayers is not found in anything in the world.
Consider marriage as a trust from Allah
Nikah is not just a union of two people, but a trust from Allah. It is your responsibility to preserve it, to fulfill it.
If you have convinced your parents, then it is your biggest responsibility to respect that relationship.
Avoid fights
Be patient
Always respect each other
When your marriage becomes an example, then people will say – “What Allah has brought together, no power in the world can break it.”
Conclusion: Love, but by following the path of Allah
Love marriage is not prohibited in Islam, if it is within the ambit of Sharia. Convincing parents is not easy, but it is possible – when you work with love, respect and patience. Remember, marriage is a blessing given by Allah, and parents are the key to it. Convince them – with the help of Allah, and with your true passion.
FAQs For Convince Parents For Love Marriage
- Is love marriage legal in Islam?
Yes, if both are adults, agree, and do Nikah according to Sharia, then it is legal.
- Is the consent of parents necessary?
Absolutely, the prayers and approval of parents make Nikah more blessed. The effort should always be to make them agree.
- What to do if parents do not agree?
Be patient, pray, and if all the measures fail then Nikah is possible under Shariat, but this should be the last resort.
- Should society be obeyed in love marriage?
Islam should be obeyed more than society. But the respect of parents and one’s character in society should always be kept right. - Is it right to meet before Nikah?
In Islam, meeting a non-Mehram alone is prohibited. Whatever you want to talk about, do it in the presence of family members or according to Shariat.
