Get Ex Love Back, Getting an ex back is challenging but not impossible. If your relationship meant a lot to you and you think your ex might still have feelings for you, there are some effective strategies you can try to rekindle things. The keys are giving them space, working on improving yourself, reminding them of the good parts of your relationship, proving you’ve changed if need be, and planting seeds to get them to imagine reconciling. While you can’t force someone to take you back, you can make them remember why they fell for you in the first place.
Reflect on the Relationship
Before trying to get your ex back, reflect on why you broke up, why you want to reconcile, and if it’s truly the right thing for both of you long-term. Think about what went wrong and your role in the downfall of the relationship. Be honest with yourself about any issues, problematic patterns, or behaviors that led to the breakup. Figure out what’s missing from your life without your ex and if you genuinely want them back or just hate being single. This self-reflection will help you have clarity and avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Give Your Ex-Space
One of the worst things you can do post-breakup is to smother your ex. They likely need time and space to process their feelings and the end of the relationship. Bombarding them with calls and texts asking to get back together will likely have the opposite effect, driving them further away. Give your ex a few weeks of complete no contact. Don’t reach out or respond even if they text or call you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and giving space creates an opportunity for your ex to truly miss you. It also demonstrates that you respect their boundaries and can give them breathing room when asked.
Work on Yourself
Rather than obsessing over your ex, use the post-breakup period to work on being the best version of yourself. Start a new workout routine to get in shape, pick up an old hobby that makes you happy, make new friends, and get ahead at work – anything that builds confidence and enriches your life. Not only will this make you more attractive to any partner, but it will also prove to your ex that you don’t necessarily need them to be happy and fulfilled. They’ll see you thriving and it may spark reconsideration of the relationship.
Reconnect as Friends
Once you’ve given your ex a few weeks of space, try casually reaching out to reconnect as friends if that’s something you’re both comfortable with. Send them a text asking how they’ve been or suggest meeting up for coffee to catch up. Keep it light though – don’t mention getting back together yet. Building a friendship again first allows you to demonstrate the mature, considerate behaviors your ex may have felt were lacking during the relationship. It also helps you emotionally reconnect and remind your ex how well you get along. Flirt a little and make them remember the spark you used to share.
Remind Your Ex of the Good Times
Assuming you did share some wonderful memories, subtly remind your ex of the highlights of your relationship after you’ve started communicating again. For example, if you used to have a favorite restaurant, suggest meeting there for dinner or getting takeout from there sometime to reminisce. If you bonded over a favorite TV show, bring that up in conversation. Recommend going to see a band you both love. These nostalgic reminders trigger the fun times you had together and get your ex to associate you with positive feelings again.
Suggest Couples Counseling
If your relationship ended due to communication issues, unresolved conflicts, lack of intimacy, or other common complications, suggest to your ex that you go to a few couple’s therapy sessions together to work through lingering issues. A counselor’s outside perspective can help you both identify recurring sticking points and unhealthy patterns, improve how you relate to each other, and determine if the relationship is worth salvaging. Having productive reopen conversations mediated by a therapist demonstrates maturity, care for the relationship, and willingness to compromise and can make getting back together feel less risky.
Prove You Have Changed
If the breakup was due to any behavior of yours that your partner found intolerable such as dishonesty, taking them for granted, or losing control of your temper, you must demonstrate meaningful change before asking for another chance. Be transparent about the personal development work you’ve done such as anger management courses, individual counseling, giving up drinking, etc. Follow through consistently on any promises you make going forward to rebuild lost trust. Words are cheap so show (don’t just tell) your ex through your actions that you have genuinely turned over a new leaf.
Don’t Beg or Seem Desperate
As challenging as it is, try not to let your ex see how shattered you are by the breakup. Repeatedly begging them to take you back or sobbing hysterically will just make you seem desperate and push them away. Likewise, blowing up their phone with pleas to reunite will turn them off. Play it cool and don’t have an emotional outburst every time you interact. Show them the confident, fun person they first fell for. This is more attractive than emotional neediness and also demonstrates that you respect their decision about the relationship status even if you hope they change their mind.
Make Them Imagine Life Without You
Since you likely already occupy space in your ex’s mind, spark their imagination about positive reconciliations versus only focusing on the past breakup. Allude to future plans you could do together like concerts, trips, and parties with friends. Jog their memory about shared goals for the future such as getting married, having kids, and buying a house one day. Subtly remind them of what they liked about being with you and make them envision losing all of that permanently. Water those little seeds of doubt in their mind about moving on from you and they just may start seeing you as a necessity again.
Get Ex Love Back, Conclusion
Getting back together with an ex requires strategic timing, self-improvement, and reminding your former partner of what made the relationship special in the first place. While the above tips don’t guarantee rekindling romance, they optimize your chances as long as your ex still has some positive feelings left for you. Even if you don’t reconcile in the end, working on yourself will serve you well when you’re ready to pursue healthy new relationships. As long as you have hope and employ some patience and compassion, you stand a fighting chance of having a second act with your ex-turned-current love again.